Pride is a Food Group.





think long and hard about what you filled in the blanks to say,
and why that was what you thought of first



I spent the weekend with lilly, and it was pretty great. Shes better to me than anyone else ever has been, and it has me rethinking what i expect from people at all; what i expect from myself. I really hope that things work out for us. (i hope i dont fuck it up)

Its been hard, lately, to have any sort of self esteem at all. Im depending pretty heavily on others, and its hard for me to accept that there is so much i cant do on my own. I know i am a social primate, and i know that i was never meant to function alone, but goddammit im tired of being a follower. Im tired of feeling like a child.


im getting older, but im at this point in my life where i can literally choose a path that ill follow for the rest of it. I dont really know how to feel about that, but thinking about it set me off onto another thought. Really, My choices arent anymore significant now than they ever
have been, i just have a heightened awareness of it now.


When i was five, i started Kindergarten. I had a hard time making friends, as im sure alot of kids do, but eventually i met this kid named Jared, who introduced comic books again. I had been reading them when i could, before then, but it wasnt until i met him that i really got into them. I started watching the Batman, Spiderman and Xmen cartoons. It set me solidly on a path im still on now. Thinking about this got me to thinking about something else.


All the music you like, the shows, the movies, the clothes, they are completely optional traits. The word accident can mean both an indecent of chance, and a nonessential property. Im proposing that the nonessential traits of your person are all incidents of chance; that your accidents are accidental. You could just as easily have liked a completely different kind of music of clothing or movies or shows. You could be intrigued by a completely other sort of person, attracted to a totally different sort of individual. I think what im saying is give strange things a chance, since in another life you could have just as easily loved them more than anything you like now.

Choice is important, sure, so i guess you can believe you have free will, but i think opportunity is required for choice, and opportunity is a child of chance. Even the mental faculties you are equipped with, that allow you to make choices, are the products of genetic chance. Ultimately, everything is kindof random, but we still spend our whole lives trying to nail down a storm.




i have got to figure something out.