i have to be at work in a half hour or so, so ill either not finish this post, or make it short.


Lilly read back through alot of my old livejournal entries, which is both good and bad i guess. Im glad shes interested enough in me to care, but at the same time, i know whats in there, and its not a side of me i want everyone to see, you know? >.< But still, shes always so understanding, so i dont think shell find much that bothers her.

Reading over some of them, i realized that the way i remember some things isnt the same as how i recorded them as they were happening. Ive noticed this before, but it never ceases to disturb me when i discover that my memory drifts, and it only further justifies my "i dont trust anyone completely, even me" attitude.

So ive got the money order for the ticket that has to be paid by monday, and i need to mail it this afternoon... but ive got no stamps. When i get off work at one, im going to try and find stamps and an envelope, and i guess also a post office or something.

The job is going fine, for the most part. They are a little disorganized and dont always have things ready for me to do the things i need to do when i need to do them, but i guess thats ok. Im still doing training courses but i should finish those very soon.

I was at the gas station yesterday, trying to put gas into my car, and i paid with my checkcard. I only had like 6$ in the bank, and i said "i want three on pump ten" and she instead charged me for ten on pump three, AND SWIPED MY CARD BEFORE I COULD DO ANYTHING. I told her about her mistake, and she changed it, and said i wasn't charged yet, and that if i was it would just put the money back in my account. I explained that it would have given me an overdraft fee if the money lft the account at all, and that if it had, id have to come back to this gas station to talk to someone about getting my money back. I swear, if this fucked me over, im gonna be furious.

Debt collectors for Martin called me the other day, and told me theyd be taking legal action against me if i didnt do something about my debt. So now, they will be taking 50$ out of my account at the end of every month. Please dont let me forget that and end up boned.

Anyway, ive got not long until work. So ima go.

Company of Thieves
Pressure

I'm angry all the time
No one's fault but mine
Tell me how you fashion kind
When you're out of style

And I try hard to answer
All the questions that you've posed
Tell me now how should I care
When I feel so alone
And so unloved

The pressure is rising
I mean it, it's binding
I've been compromising for you

When you come home really late at night
Ripe to pick a fight
I know just the kind you'd like
So come on and bite

And I try hard to answer
All the punches that you throw
Tell me now how should I fair
When I feel so unloved and so alone

The pressure is rising
I mean it, it's binding
I've been compromising for you

The pressure is rising
I've been compromising for you
I'm waiting at the bus stop in the morning
And it's pouring

Oh, I am waiting at the bust stop for you
Staring at walls with closed doors
The key that won't work
Sure helps the time pass by
Saying i'm wrong when i'm wrong
Knowing it's the right thing
Sure helps the thoughts in my mind

The pressure is rising
I mean it, it's binding
I've been compromising for you
You, you

I am waiting at the bus stop
In the morning
And it's boring

I am waiting at the bus stop for you